You either loved her or you hated her or had no opinion on her really

Is it possible to execute a sombre high-five? Cause DDB will have to try:



Rest in peace, Jade. You were the thin, bitter spread on the toast of the national consciousness. Apparently.

People of the Now 5 - Uno

On the train home yesterday, there is a man reading a book entitled Plane Flight, a couple of seats away. I put down my copy of American Psycho and look up...

Me: Can you... fly planes?

Uno: Mmhmm. Small ones only. You need a special license for each size though.

M: That's... so cool. Living out a childhood dream.

U: Well, and I'm an engineering student so I have that to fall back on.

M: Wow... I just do marketing and ads and stuff. I kinda wanted to be a journalist at one point.

U: You seem a bit like a paparazzi!

M: If only. Being a pap would be pretty good. I was told when I was very young that getting into journalism was next to impossible, so...

U: Ah but that was other people's experience. If you only rely on other people's experience you can never know if you were able to do it. Abraham Lincoln said, "Failure is not a signal to give up. It is a signal to try again".

M: Right on! You never know, huh? I might be a paparazzi one day yet.

U: It's funny you should say that. You know Alexandra from the last Big Brother?

M: Uhm. Yes?

U: I got through to the end.. but my police check didn't come through in time. She was my stand-in.

M: Oh what?

U: Yeah well, you know. I'm gonna apply next year.

M: Can they... fast-track you or something?

U: They said not.

M: Bastards. Don't give up.

[heavily edited]

Lifeopedia

With many, many thanks to the Something Awful Forum goons, I'm pleased to present a selection of a few pages worth of the Tips And Tricks For Life Megathread:

CaptainComet:

If you cover up the tragus (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tragus_(ear)) with your finger, you can actually drown out loud background noise (concerts, traffic, etc.) and hear conversation much more clearly. This may seem a bit similar to the advice above, but it's not that obvious, and it's pretty useful for flirting at loud parties. Just don't be too quick to grab her head.
--
Fellows, when on a third date, never embarrass a third party. In undergraduate, I always saw a lot of guys who, while out on a date, would act out to get their date's attention. Obviously, this kind of behavior is gross, but it's also pretty insidious. If you're out with a girl, and some drunk kid wanders up to you,don't be condescending, just friendly and -if necessary- concerned. Trust me, even if it's a real zinger, save it. You'll only look like a bully.

Yojimb0:

People who are nice and polite are becoming more and more rare these days. Because of this, being nice is an extremely easy way to stand out from a crowd. If there is something you like about somebody, or there's something nice you have to say about them, don't hold it back.

Eutheria:

You can save on your water usage by placing a jug of water in the tank of your toilet.

Squirtle:

Also, don't write about illegal things you do on social networking sites. E.g., a guy from my school has been collecting (read: stealing) letterboxes and selling them. Mine recently went missing. Later tonight: Vigilante Justice. More on this later.

Schweinhund:

Hold each foot under the water before you step in the shower and you won't feel the cold of the shower floor.

Y0nka:

Drink before you go out drinking. Consuming copious amounts of alchol at the bar gets expensive fast. If you spend a couple of minutes at home first you will save yourself an easy 20 bucks a weekend.

Skinpack:

Keep your word. Following through on things is a great way to prove your integrity. That said, don't confuse politeness with honesty, and don't be afraid to get assertive. Don't be a dick or anything, just be straight up and don't let your personal biases affect your ability to lead.

And finally, for now, MysteriousLeg:

Look people in the eyes. Have a strong handshake. Learn how to speak intelligently but don't be pedantic. It has been said, but make an effort to see or talk to your grandparents more, they're going to die soon.

Web 2.5, bitches.

Everyone's favourite engagement - the Trail of Breadcrumbs

Walking along a road in Farnham the other day, I stumbled across this little gem!



Gasp! An intriguing prospect indeed. I took a picture for the sake of interest, but I didn't do anything more. But then I saw another one, in the town centre... then another! Then four more! Each one with a piece of jewellery, or a handbag, or whatnot. What could it possibly mean? "Do not return" naturally indicates there was probably nothing to return - well that's my lame excuse for not finding anything.

So what was the purpose of the number (which I've smeared out, but perhaps the experiment would be better served if I didn't)? I called it to find out:


Ring, ring.


Ring, ring.


beep.


"Hello, and thank you for calling. Please leave your response to this poster"


Click.

Huh? My response? Well, my response was to call the number I guess. But the number did nothing to provoke a further action - it didn't give me any criteria to guide my reaction. Was I supposed to say whether I liked it? If I'd found an item? A personal story? I usually like to play along with stuff like this and response in character, but in this case I didn't know what that would be. At least when Danny Wallace scattered his number about London he attached the message "Let's have a conversation". People knew what they were getting, sort of.

I've got a hunch that this stuff was connected to the Art College. Maybe the responses they wanted were just a lot of 'I'm confused' messages. Hopefully other people plucked up the courage to give them!

...but it goes to show that in any conversation, you need not just to be able to hold your end up, but to give the other participant the guidelines to want to do his part to.

What would you have said?