Ticket Collector: Tickets please! Anyone from crumbly Crewkearne? You, sir?
Me: Nope, Exeter. You've done me, thanks.
TC: Ahh, of course. See anyone get in that carriage recently? Anyone you want to grass up?
M: No, I didn't...
TC: There must be someone! Last week I had four young ladies. Yes indeed, wanted to get off at Sherbourne without any tickets.
M: Did you let them off?
TC: Charged them all full single fares! Despite the fact that one of them wanted to bed me.
M: That's very professional of you.
TC: Shame they didn't want to get off at Salisbury. Then we could have come to some arrangement.
TC: And I'd get fired!
2 minutes later, the carriage:
TC: Anyone from Crewkearne?